Morning Sickness Madness
Ugh. This morning sickness is still so bad. Yesterday I found myself eating yogurt and pickles for lunch because that’s the only thing I could choke down. The yogurt seems to settle my stomach down and the pickles… I don’t know. But they taste good right now. I’ve never felt that the old adage about “pickles and ice cream” was realistic, but it seems to be. Except… I can’t make myself eat ice cream. And it makes me sad, because I love ice cream normally.
I feel sick all freaking day long. Ugh.
I have been browsing all over the internet though and have picked up a couple of remedies so far for the nausea.
Ginger – I got some ginger herbal tea. It’s disgusting. I tried choking it down at night and just couldn’t handle it. I gave up and feel bad for wasting 4 dollars. I also got some sort of Ginger Gum, made by Sea Band…. this seems to help a little bit, but it’s dang strong when you first bite into it. Not my favorite thing, but it did help supress my nausea yesterday. It didn’t help too much this morning though.
Crackers – I ate like 100 of them, and I still threw up afterwards. Does not work for me.
Anti-Nausea Wristbands – I just bought some today from Rite-Aid. I’m wearing them right now. My hands are turning purple… so I’m not sure I put them in the right place… maybe I’m just cutting off circulation. On the plus side, I don’t seem to feel sick… just light-headed. But, I also drank a nesquick chocolate milkshake and orange juice, and that might have settled my tummy down.
Unisom – My doctor told me to try taking 1/2 a pill of unisom before I go to sleep at night, and it should help take away my morning sickness. I’ll try it tonight and see what happens.
Vitamin B6 – Doctor said to take 25 mg a day and it should also help me not feel sick. :/ I’ll try it if unisom doesn’t work.
Now I’m drinking pickle juice. It’s great. 
What a weirdo I am.
I hope something helps my nausea. 
Mah Dog
I’m sure you’ve all seen those pictures on the internet of those cute cats with captions on them. Well, I have this awesome picture of my dog that I think would make an awesome LolDog picture (those cat pictures are call LolCats), but I don’t know what to put as a caption. It’s still cute though and so I thought I’d share.
Just so you know, she’s an 11 month old Rhodesian Ridgeback, a rarer breed of dog from Africa… bred to hunt lions. They’re pretty cool, and Arwen is a real sweetie. Anyway, without further ado, here’s the cute, cute picture of mah dog.
How I’m Doin’
So, besides my Friday excursion, I’ve been doing alright. The bleeding/discharge has stopped now, so I feel a little more like I’m going to be alright. The bleeding never really got bad, it was just a little bit of it and never any tissue, so I think I’m okay. I feel more sick as time goes on (a good sign, I think), but today I had to come home early from work because I felt like I was going to puke if I stuck around too long. I had my husband give the message to my manager, while I sat in the breakroom and tried to control my breathing so I didn’t upchuck everything right there. I didn’t eat anything really this morning, besides like two gummy worms and some water, so I wasn’t sure what my stomach was threatening to get rid of, but I felt so gross.
I had to tell like three customers to hold on for a moment, while I put the mute button on and gagged and hoping my stomach wouldn’t decide to give up now. At lunchtime, I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I had my husband drive me home. As soon as we got home, I ran down the stairs and into the bathroom and threw up all of the water I’d had that day. It was the worst throwing up experience ever. Ick. After that though, I felt better, but I went to bed, finished reading Harry Potter 7 for the second time and slept for an hour. It was great.
I sure can’t wait until this morning sickness goes away though. It’s so bad. I don’t know how people get through it for 6 or 7 or 8 or more kids. But they say that it kind of peaks at 8 weeks (which is where I’ll be at tomorrow) and then goes downhill from there, though it doesn’t always hold true for everyone, of course. I sure hope it’s true for me. Bleck.
The Stupidest Thing Ever
Have you ever done something that you though was going to be totally awesome, and then it turned into a total nightmare? Well… that happened to me last Friday.
Being the sort of ‘odd’ female that I am, I enjoy archery. Archery’s one of my favorite things to do. And I like to go bowhunting, although I haven’t had too much luck with that ever. I’ve been hunting since I was 12 years old and haven’t ever gotten a thing. But I don’t care… what I love about bowhunting is hiking into the beautiful mountains and sitting in nature for hours on end while you wait for something to happen. It’s a wonderful experience and I love it.
Well, I live in Utah these days, and I don’t know too much about these here parts… so I found myself a guide. Someone who knows where to go to go hunting around here. And hunting season opened last week. So, I went out on Friday to go hunting, fully expecting it to be really easy and fun, like it normally is.
I have never been more wrong in my life.
We went up Diamond Fork Canyon, and it was pretty, though the road was really narrow and had lots of turns and the guide drove really fast, which freaked me out a lot. But it was okay. I didn’t get carsick or anything. Anyway, so we get to our destination, get out of the truck and proceed to hike down a fairly vertical drop. It wasn’t bad. Then we crossed a really fast river (scary!!!), but not so bad. Then I realized I should probably use my inhaler (I have asthma), since so far the journey was a little strenuous. It wasn’t too bad though. So, we went up, found out the place we were going didn’t have any water anymore and then it got dark and we started back home. So far, it hadn’t been so bad. A little hard, but I was doing just fine.
So it starts getting dark. And we’re doing okay… downhill trip all the way now. We cross the river in a different place this time. In the dark. And it’s deeper here. I was so scared I was going to fall in and be swept away… it was really freaky. But we got across just fine. And that’s when the nightmare started. Apparently, we were about a mile in some direction of the truck. And the guide hadn’t been to this part before, though he knows his directions, and so was sure he could get us back. So, we start climbing a nearly vertical hill. This is where it’s bad. It’s dark. And when you’re clinging to plants and climbing up them, you can’t really have your flashlight out to see what you’re grabbing. I grabbed several stinging nettles, nearly slipped into the water like 3 times, and this is really strenuous, so my asthma starts acting up. I’m clinging, literally, to the mountainside, hanging onto plants and desperately hoping that I get to somewhere where I can stand and use my inhaler. Luckily, my husband is fantastic and kept watch over me… he helped me climb up that treacherous mountainside (which took me like 30 minutes or so).
But don’t think it’s over yet… oh no, now we have to go across the mountainside. At this point, we’re following an elk or deer trail, on this pretty much vertical slope, with all sorts of bushes and tree limbs grabbing at me. I’m already scared that I’ve probably killed my baby by climbing up the mountain, and I still have to stop every ten minutes to breathe. I easily lost my footing several times, and grabbed several more stinging nettles. Not to mention, I gathered like 500 little burrs all over my clothes… that was quite annoying. So we continue on, in the dark, for quite a while. My husband is smart enough to carry my bow for me (I’d have lost it somewhere otherwise). And it’s not so bad. But then we have to go up again. ARGH! Grabbing roots and branches and hauling myself up again is no fun. Then we go across the mountain again, and we get into a thick thick set of pine trees. Oh. My. Gosh. I have NEVER hated something SO MUCH in my life. There is so much deadfall and underbrush in these trees that I fall every five minutes, stabbing myself in the leg and side with dead tree branches… spiderwebs are everywhere… I’ve got dirt in my shoes and the bushes are scratching my ankles…. oh it’s bad. And so slow.
And then my husband says he can see the road! Except… it’s on the other mountainside… not the one we’re on, but the one directly across from us. I pretty much died then. I still can’t breathe, I’ve got stinging nettles in my hands, scratches, burrs, bruises and I’m about to break down and cry now. We have to go DOWN again? And then back UP? And we’re still in the stupid pine trees. I just didn’t think I’d make it through this nightmare. And I couldn’t believe I had wasted all that time climbing up this stupid mountain, to have to go back down it and up another mountain.
Well, I made it somehow. It was bad. A fairly decent slope downwards (at this point I decided to slide on my butt where I could… and it worked pretty well, despite the deadfall.) but a horrific vertical slope again, up to the road. Luckily, my husband was behind me, pushing on my bum to get me up to the road. And I made it somehow. Our guide, being chivalrous, offered to go get the truck and come back and get us. I was fine with that. I just lay there on the roadside and breathed and felt like dying. I was so glad it was over. I ached everywhere… I was still cold from that stupid river, and I had thorns embedded in my hands. It was bad.
We got home at about midnight that night… and then I was exhausted… but I couldn’t sleep because I hurt all over and my chest ached. So I got up, got the computer out and made sure that Tylenol was safe to take while I was pregnant, and took some. Then I finally slept. And I slept pretty much all Saturday long as well.
Honestly though, this was the worst experience I’ve ever, ever had in my 21 years of existence. I will never do that again.
The “Fat” part
One good thing I found out when I went into the doctor last Friday to get my blood taken to see if I was in the normal hormonal range for 6 weeks of pregnancy, was that I only weighed 234 pounds. This is exciting. When I went to the doctor a few months ago, I weighed almost 250 and wanted to die. But this is great! I was like, wohoo! I lost 15 pounds somehow! And I don’t know what I did! It was exciting. And then I remembered that I’m probably going to gain it back during the pregnancy and I was sad again. It’s not fun being this heavy and pregnant. But, then again, I am 5′9″, so it’s not like I’m waddling and unable to fit through doorways. I just have some… extra… meat on me. I can still fit in bathroom stalls just fine. I think it’s mostly my firm buttocks that make me weigh so much 
.
I am so sad that I am so large though. I really have a self image issue, but who wouldn’t at this weight? I’m 21! I shouldn’t be fat, I should be hip-hopping and sexy… and I wasn’t fat for a long time… but see, here’s the story.
I’ve had depression for a really, really long time. Since I was like 13 or 14. And so they’ve had me on the generic Prozac from 14 on up to 20. And I always kind of hated Prozac, because I felt like a robot. It was hard to cry, it was hard to feel happy… it was hard to be anything but “normal”. And I hated it. Unless, I didn’t take it, and then I had emotions… they were just… depressed, upset, crying, hating the world sort of emotions. I had also heard it was a bit dampening to your libido. So anyway, a little bit before my husband and my engagement was official, I went to the doctor and said “I don’t like Prozac because (all the reasons listed above).” So he gave me Celexa to try. At this point, I was a slim 170 or so, which is about where I’m supposed to be weight-wise. I was sexy, I was hot. I attracted all the boys from miles around. It was great!
Well, I had took this Celexa for a couple of weeks… and suddenly I had gained 10 pounds. I was so confused! What? Why was I gaining 10 pounds before I was to be married? Anyway, so I went back to the doctor, who was also confused, because Celexa is not supposed to cause weight gain. So he put me on Lexapro instead, just a month or so before my wedding. And this seemed to work alright for the time being, and then I sort of forgot about it while I was getting married and stuff. And before I know it, four months later, I’ve gained 70 pounds. What the heck was going on with me?
Well, it turns out that Prozac is an appetite suppressant, while Celexa and Lexapro are both neutral appetite things. And so that’s why I was gaining weight. All of a sudden I was HUNGRY! ALL THE TIME! EAT EAT EAT! HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO! Anyway, the new doctor took me off of depressants entirely, and I seem to be fine now, which is great! No more drugs! But I’m still heavy, because having no medicine is also a neutral thing.
It’s sad though. Especially after I just married my husband.
I mean, he’s great about it. He still says he loves me just as much, despite the fact that every once in a while I burst into tears because I hate the way I look… and I know that he does really love me. He’s the best husband ever. Really. I’m so glad I married him, because he’s just awesome. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I can’t believe I was so lucky.
He also says he doesn’t care at all about my physique, which was hard for me to believe at first… because how could a -man- (this emphasis is to imply how lots of men that I’ve met only care about looks) love a peacock that’s suddenly morphed into a whale? But after a few nights talking about my weight and me crying and him crying because I didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t care, I finally decided to believe that he really didn’t care. That he did love me, despite my weight. It’s good to know this, because I need the support. Being fat is so depressing.
The thing that really gets me now is that I weigh so much more than him (70 pounds more). I just don’t think it’s fair (even though he doesn’t care) that he can have a practically perfectly formed male body and I’m flobbing around all over with stretch marks on my belly and pimples on my face (still! at 21! Ugh). I feel like I’m getting all the benefits or the world is unbalanced or something. He looks so handsome, it’s hard for me not to look at him all the time in awe. It just doesn’t seem to be fair to him. He should be able to have tall, slender, sexy wife to match him, so they can compliment each other as the perfect pair. I just feel like people look at me and him and say “How the heck did -she- rope -him- into marrying her?”. But I guess I shouldn’t care. Because we do love each other ever so much. :/ Hopefully someday I’ll get over it.
Sad.
Oh well. I have to wait until the pregnancy is over to lose any more weight. So I’ve just got to stick it out for now.
Good luck me.
Why me?
So, here I am, blogging. I think I’m doing it mostly because I’m lonely… maybe scared a little. I don’t know what to do now that I have a little person growing in my tummy! I’ve never done this before. I’m 21… been married 8 months… I work for tech support… and I’ve got an 11 month old puppy. What am I thinking?
I’m 7 weeks along now. Well, hopefully. I’m assuming every thing’s going to be okay, even though I’ve been having some brownish spotting for a week now (I know, TMI, TMI) and so it could mean a miscarriage (that freaks me out a little). However, I feel sicker than a dog in the morning now, so I think that’s a good sign. Because I wasn’t feeling like that before. I think I’m producing hormones still and stuff. They say that’s why you feel sick in the morning, because your body’s making hormones for the baby.
This morning sickness is really getting to me. I was all pumped for having a baby and was just brushing off the morning sickness thing (Before I was experiencing it). I was like, “Oh, that’ll go by so quick, I won’t even know what happened.” And now I find myself waking up in the morning and thinking “How many more weeks before this is supposed to stop? A whole more month? This is crazy!” And then I go puke my stomach acid into the sink in the bathroom. I prefer throwing up in the sink, because I really don’t think I can handle laying my head on the toilet and puking in there. I just find that too disgusting. Even though I clean it once a week, I still just… can’t handle putting my face there.
They say to just eat a few crackers before you get out of bed and that will keep you from being sick. I vehemently disagree. I tried eating crackers, and it just made me puke more times. And it was all partially disintegrated and stuff. Ugh.
So then I tried just sitting down all morning until I had to go to work. That didn’t work either, because as soon as I stood up after making my husband some sandwiches for lunch, I felt sick any and threw up anyway.
It’s not very nice to be pregnant and working. It really isn’t nearly as easy as I thought it would be. At all. I throw up, and then I have to go to work. I can’t eat breakfast… I’d puke some more. And then I have to go talk to angry people on the phone, and that makes me want to puke while I’m talking to them… you know, it like runs up your adrenaline and stuff and that doesn’t help my queasiness go away.
However, this morning I think I found the way to keep me from actually throwing up. I got out of bed, got dressed, took the puppy out to potty (all of these things I can do before I feel like throwing up, generally), and then went into the kitchen and laid on my stomach on the cold tile floor. It was great. I felt really good, and I didn’t feel like tossing my cookies (my husband tells me he’s never heard this term before, and I told him he was a weirdo). I went to work and felt queasy all day (which is normal), but I made it without throwing up.
It’s hard to not be able to eat breakfast. Not only because I like my breakfast, but because I feel bad, because I’m sure it’s bad for the baby. But how the heck do the doctors expect you to eat anything when every time you look at something food-like anytime before noon, you feel sure you’re going to throw up if you eat it? It stinks.
Normally, I love food. I love eating my banquet lunches or my sandwiches for lunch, and my honey-nut scooters for breakfast, and enchiladas for dinner. But I can’t eat them right now because I feel so sick. It makes me sad. Sometimes I eat bean dip and chips for lunch, because my stomach seems to be okay with that… but unfortunately, it’s not very cost effective. I’m not spending freaking seven dollars every time I eat lunch. That’s insane! And Ramen noodles for dinner every night is probably not healthy either. Sigh. Such is life.
Eating is far more complicated than I ever though it would be. What will I do?
